i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
