There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize