A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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