Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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