i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize