Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
