We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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