I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize