I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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