Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
