I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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