He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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