There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sex in a hospital.. check
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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