When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize