Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
