I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My feet surprised me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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