the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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