DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
