So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
