Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
