We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
