she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
