I think I am morally bankrupt
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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