I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
