My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
