pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
