I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
