god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
