What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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