you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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