Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize