420 ftw
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
