I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
