If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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