VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize