You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
