He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
