I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
and she was petting her beer can
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
