Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
