her vagine was all disorganized.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
