My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
