i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
