yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
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