I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
