Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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