Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
