For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
