we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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