I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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