lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
