Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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