he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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