if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
