is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize