i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
