He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well I just put wine in my tea
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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