i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
