I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
