Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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