i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
