Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
