i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize