You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
