tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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