...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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