My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
