i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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