I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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