have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
