Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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